Compliments and Coleslaw

Compliments

I remember every unusual compliment I've ever gotten. I'm not talking the run of the mill stuff like, "You look nice today." People say things like that whether or not they mean it. Maybe they don't know what else to say or maybe it's a conversation starter. Or in the case of men, they're flirting. Those types of compliments are a dime a dozen. It's the UNUSUAL ones I remember. 

The Atypical Compliment 

I remember the old lady that stopped us in a gift shop at the beach to marvel at how long my eyelashes were. I was probably eight. I remember my seventh-grade classmate Rodney that remarked that I was ALWAYS smiling. He then went on to tell me that my lips were smaller since I had gotten my braces off the day before. I remember the preacher's son, Patrick who looked at me in our high school parking lot before school one day and said that he'd never seen a brighter smile than mine. I was dating a retired chef named Jerry a few years ago who had been married to a woman who was a Mensa member and it floored me when he told me that I was "scary smart sometimes." A more recent compliment came from Wanda at church who had asked about how my kids were doing. When I was done reciting all the things my about-to-graduate-college daughter had been busy doing: classes, Head RA, internships, job interviews, etc... she said, "So she's just like her Mama." That one left me speechless. I know I looked confused as I contemplated that. "No," I thought. "She's nothing like me. She's wonderful."

I've found that people rarely see themselves as other people see them. It probably goes back to school days when kids are so mean towards one another. I once told a customer whose sister was my high-school classmate that she was a sweet girl. He said, "Really? I never thought so." I kept my mouth shut as I thought, "You're absolutely right. Your sister was actually a terrible person and could've starred in the movie Mean Girls." I was trying to be nice. Wouldn't it be great if we all sent our children out into the world with the intent to make someone's day better each and every day? If instead of them getting in their little cliques to trash talk others, they got together to make some classmate's life better, even if it's just by giving them a sincere compliment? In high-school you don't think of these things until someone who used to sit in the back of the class, always looking like he could use a shower and a friend stops showing up at school and will never show up anywhere again. 

The Best Compliment I Ever Got

Last weekend, I was standing at the stove fixing Judy's vegetables for the week. We were cutting up and laughing, Unk and I picking on her a little but very good-naturedly, just trying to get her laughing even more when she suddenly put her arms around me and still laughing said, "I'm so glad I get to spend my final days or weeks with you.  I know we're having so much more fun!" I didn't burst out crying as I would've liked but it took a moment to compose myself before I could speak. Those moments are becoming more frequent these days. It's not the shopping and cooking that's hard. Yes, it gets physically demanding but it's the staying strong for her while she's suffering that's the hard part. She's gone from having good days and bad days to having good hours and bad hours. Yesterday they went to tour the local Hospice facility. I think it really helped for them to see that there's help for them-the medical stuff that Unk and I can't provide. One of my closest friends, Lisa has worked at a local hospice for years and told me that contrary to what people believe, once Hospice is called in, studies have shown that patients live longer and with a better quality of life. Alright, enough of the sad stuff. Let's get to Judy's favorite coleslaw recipe. She likes fried shrimp every weekend with this slaw. 

Jacci's Healthy Coleslaw

• 1 bag of coleslaw mix (I use Fresh Express with the dressing in a little pouch in the bag)
• 2 dashes low sodium Worcestershire
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric (Google it. It's good for you)
• several turns of FRESH GROUND pepper. (It helps your body absorb the turmeric) 
• 2 little packets of Splenda Naturals or Truvia
• 1/2 of one of those little bags of sliced almonds you can find in your grocery's bake isle. Or a handful out of that big bag you buy at Sam's Club. 

Mix it all and put in the fridge for at least an hour or two to give the ingredients time to marry. Overnight works even better. This slaw is also delicious in grilled chicken wraps and on burgers.  

To any Pinterest users out there... I played with this until I got it exactly how she likes it. Don't try to get more creative and add things like celery seed or dill and then give it a low rating. You have no idea how rude it is for complete strangers to give a low Pinterest rating to someone's original recipe but to then go on to tell what they changed when they made it. It's a pet peeve of mine.  Don't be a Mean Girl. Rate the original and THEN tweak it to your heart's desire the next time. 

Happy Eating!

XOXO,

Jac

The Sweetest Words

Some would say that the sweetest words they ever hear are, "I love you." Last weekend, I heard words even sweeter to my ears right now. While chatting in the kitchen as I cooked, Judy said, "I love my life." I was simply awed that anyone who is dealing with all that she is could have such a positive attitude. With serious heart and lung issues, in multiple organ failure, she is the most positive person I've ever met. Her faith is strong and she often talks about how things always seem to work out for her, citing me as an example. It would've been so easy for us to have missed reconnecting at that particular moment in time. If they had forgotten how to spell my first name or if they hadn't realized that I had gone back to my maiden name after my divorce, they might not have found me on Facebook. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, you have to admit that the stars certainly aligned perfectly to bring an old friend back into their lives who has as much diabetes experience as I have and who also happens to work for a food service company with access to the perfect set of recipes as well as a knowledgeable group of chefs in and out of my office every day to help us begin our journey. Fate? Kismet? Divine Intervention? Luck? Everyone will have to decide for themselves. 

Food Prep

One of the first things I did after I committed to helping was to go to Amazon and find containers for food prep and portion control. For just over fifteen bucks I snagged a set of containers perfect for the job. (Long live Amazon Prime!) I fill as many of these as possible on the weekends and pop most in the freezer for the week. I mark them with freezer tape with what's inside, the day to eat it (we have to make sure she gets the same amount of vitamin K daily so the greens, in particular, must be measured, because of the Coumadin interaction) and any reheating instructions. 

On this particular weekend, I grilled chicken breasts with onions and mushrooms, There are also smashed, small red potatoes with a sprinkling of cheese, pepper and spring onions that she'll add a dab of sour cream to after reheating. The mustard greens were cooked with added sodium-free Chicken Herb-Ox and a small amount of coconut oil (@1TBL for the whole pot).
We're discovering which things reheat nicely and which don't. Almost all proteins need added broth (before freezing and more before reheating) to keep them from drying out. Fish is a definite NO. It just doesn't reheat well so shrimp and salmon are cooked and eaten on the weekends as soon as I cook them.

Kitchen Tips

1. Avoid cross-contamination. When you have a compromised immune system, the last thing you need is food poisoning. Use different cutting boards (color-coded works well) for meats and vegetables. There are even color-coded knives that serve the same purpose.

2. Wear a cutting glove. If you're a new or fairly inexperienced cook, it's a great little investment. If you're cooking for someone who's REALLY immunocompromised, also get some thin latex style gloves. They don't need your cooties.

3. A mandolin. If you cut a lot of small squash, zucchini, and cucumbers, you'll thank me for this. 

4. When grilling meats like chicken and hamburgers it's a good idea to use a grill pan to get the grill marks everyone likes but if you're freezing it, add some low sodium beef or chicken stock at the end to keep it from drying out. And remember, a squeeze of lemon or lime juice always brightens sauteed veggies. You can even cook it down to a glaze and coat your chicken with it. YUM!

5. If the food still just doesn't have enough flavor without the added salt, stand in the baking aisle at the grocery store and stare at the spice section for a while. There are many salt-free seasonings loaded with flavor these days. Our current favorites are Cavender's and Chef Paul's (salt-free) Magic Seasoning. We add a dash or two to almost everything. The Magic Seasoning has a little kick. 

So while I'm in the kitchen measuring, mixing and tallying carb counts and Vitamin K amounts into little compartments and storage bowls, Judy's testing her blood sugar, recording her weight twice a day and calculating insulin dosages and boluses, all between scheduling doctors' appointments and other appointments. There are also calls and visits from friends. These wear her out quickly but she hates to miss any of them. This weekend, our dinner table conversations while Unk was in the bedroom resting revolved around ways to keep him from getting seriously depressed or even suicidal if she goes first. There will be weekend day trips for ice cream one or two towns over and I'll have to show him the local spots I know here in my county. There's the Whirligig Park in Wilson, the little Mayberry type filling station outside of Sharpsburg and the sailboat someone brought home to set up on their property after they couldn't sail any longer, presumably because they loved that boat so. Or maybe they just got too old or sick to use it any longer. If you know the owner, don't tell me the reason. I don't think I want to know.

Growing Old

Whoever said that quote about how growing old isn't for the faint of heart sure knew what he was talking about. Facing serious health problems when your energy is lagging and your body is older, tired and wearing out certainly takes courage. The most any of us usually can hope for is to go peacefully in our sleep with no long-drawn-out illness, no suffering to endure. That's my wish for all of us. God Bless us all.