The Importance of a Great Diet Dr. Pepper

Help!  

Me as the Town Crazy Cat Lady
surprising Lisa at work on Halloween

 So. If you or a loved one is going through any type of terminal illness currently, you've probably already realized how overwhelming this all can be. My advice to you? Take a break. Ask for help. Scream for help if you need to get someone's attention. People are not mind-readers. If you don't ask, how are they supposed to know? Sometimes people have family they can rely on and others have friends. Relying on them too often can make the patient and primary caregiver feel like they're being a burden. Nobody likes to feel like a burden. The best thing you can do is start researching. Start making phone calls and asking questions. Don't worry about "bothering" people. This is a life, not a recommendation for a good restaurant. They won't mind. Just do it already.
I've heard people say that once a hospice organization is called in that the patient gives up or just passes very quickly after that. According to my friend Lisa who works for hospice in another county, that's the perception because people wait so late to ask for hospice care. She told me that studies have shown that the earlier hospice is called, the longer a patient usually lives and with a higher quality of life. Hospice isn't just a volunteer who comes to sit with the patient for an hour or two a week. It's a whole team of nurses, social workers, and chaplains as well as countless people we'll probably never meet, all working to keep the patient happy, comfortable and with any and every need met 24/7. One phone call is all we would have to make if we needed anything. At that point, the team would go into action to take care of whatever or contact whomever we needed. So if you're a caregiver, don't wait until you're ready to have a nervous breakdown yourself to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. It's knowing that you can't possibly do it all and that Google maybe isn't your best resource for things like this. (No offense, Google. You know I love you.) They called a local hospice about two weeks ago and I just can't tell you the difference it's already made in all of our lives, not just Judy's.

Still, Have Fun   

Judy and I in @1982

In case you missed it, Unk & Judy have always been very fun-loving people. They've traveled the world and made friends every step of the way. Many they've lost touch with over the years but all remain treasured memories that they often talk about to this day. Reminiscing is very important, especially if there are good memories. Fun, however, is absolutely essential. 

Last weekend, I decided that owning one pair of Spring pajamas just wasn't enough. I had recently purchased them after deciding that my holey tee shirts and sleep shorts just weren't appropriate for my weekend jaunts to their house. I liked the set I had recently bought so I headed back to buy another set, maybe in a larger size since mine seemed to have shrunk in the dryer just a little. I got back to their house and paraded through the living room where Judy was sitting on the couch and Unk in his chair, me doing my worst catwalk modeling in my new PJs and singing the "Miss America" theme song to try to take their minds off of illness for a few seconds. They smiled indulgently and remarked that they really liked them in pink, a little like you would humor a 4-year-old showing you the flower he just picked. I then sat down in the big leather chair in the middle of the room to talk with Judy while I drank my perfect, slightly frozen bottle of diet Dr. Pepper and she ate a snack. (No comments about the evils of sodas, please. I'm allergic to coffee. You do the math.) I was absentmindedly watching the heavy traffic pass by their house (they live on one of the busiest roads in town) and admiring the daffodils that were already appearing in their front yard. When she finished eating, she handed me her beautiful china plate to take to the kitchen. I stood up with her plate in one hand and my diet Dr. Pepper in the other and turned to walk into the kitchen. That's when it happened. Just as I passed Unk's chair, my pajama bottoms slipped right to the floor. Judy and I both burst out laughing as I duck-walked the rest of the way past Unk and into the kitchen, sat the plate and soda on the kitchen table and pulled up my pants. As I turned around, red-faced with tears of laughter starting, I noticed it. The front door had been completely open for the whole show! We laughed harder at that and then even harder still at Unk sitting there, face nose to screen with his iPad like a blind man trying to watch the moon landing, the perfect gentleman, not even letting on that he knew anything out of the ordinary had just happened. She and I were howling. Someone asked me, "Why didn't you drop something and grab your pants??" I replied, "Because I wasn't about to break her china and you just don't waste a perfectly iced diet Dr. Pepper." 

Today's Recipe 

The Perfectly Iced Diet Dr. Pepper:

The key to my heart is not flowers.
 It's a bouquet of diet Dr. Pepper.
Don't judge me.

• One 16.9 ounce diet Dr. Pepper

1. Crack the seal on that bottle of deliciousness
2. Drink 10%
3. Screw the top back on securely and place in freezer
4. Leave it for about 20-30 minutes, depending on your freezer temperature and longer if the bottle wasn't already in the refrigerator
5. Three hours later when you finally remember it, go take it out of the freezer and let it thaw. It'll happen. Believe me.

• Step number 2 is vitally important. The most important thing I remember from Mrs. Abernathy's 11th-grade chemistry class is that water expands about 9% when it freezes. Sorry Ms. Ab, but that's really what I consider the most important information you ever gave me. I use that every single day. 

Compliments and Coleslaw

Compliments

I remember every unusual compliment I've ever gotten. I'm not talking the run of the mill stuff like, "You look nice today." People say things like that whether or not they mean it. Maybe they don't know what else to say or maybe it's a conversation starter. Or in the case of men, they're flirting. Those types of compliments are a dime a dozen. It's the UNUSUAL ones I remember. 

The Atypical Compliment 

I remember the old lady that stopped us in a gift shop at the beach to marvel at how long my eyelashes were. I was probably eight. I remember my seventh-grade classmate Rodney that remarked that I was ALWAYS smiling. He then went on to tell me that my lips were smaller since I had gotten my braces off the day before. I remember the preacher's son, Patrick who looked at me in our high school parking lot before school one day and said that he'd never seen a brighter smile than mine. I was dating a retired chef named Jerry a few years ago who had been married to a woman who was a Mensa member and it floored me when he told me that I was "scary smart sometimes." A more recent compliment came from Wanda at church who had asked about how my kids were doing. When I was done reciting all the things my about-to-graduate-college daughter had been busy doing: classes, Head RA, internships, job interviews, etc... she said, "So she's just like her Mama." That one left me speechless. I know I looked confused as I contemplated that. "No," I thought. "She's nothing like me. She's wonderful."

I've found that people rarely see themselves as other people see them. It probably goes back to school days when kids are so mean towards one another. I once told a customer whose sister was my high-school classmate that she was a sweet girl. He said, "Really? I never thought so." I kept my mouth shut as I thought, "You're absolutely right. Your sister was actually a terrible person and could've starred in the movie Mean Girls." I was trying to be nice. Wouldn't it be great if we all sent our children out into the world with the intent to make someone's day better each and every day? If instead of them getting in their little cliques to trash talk others, they got together to make some classmate's life better, even if it's just by giving them a sincere compliment? In high-school you don't think of these things until someone who used to sit in the back of the class, always looking like he could use a shower and a friend stops showing up at school and will never show up anywhere again. 

The Best Compliment I Ever Got

Last weekend, I was standing at the stove fixing Judy's vegetables for the week. We were cutting up and laughing, Unk and I picking on her a little but very good-naturedly, just trying to get her laughing even more when she suddenly put her arms around me and still laughing said, "I'm so glad I get to spend my final days or weeks with you.  I know we're having so much more fun!" I didn't burst out crying as I would've liked but it took a moment to compose myself before I could speak. Those moments are becoming more frequent these days. It's not the shopping and cooking that's hard. Yes, it gets physically demanding but it's the staying strong for her while she's suffering that's the hard part. She's gone from having good days and bad days to having good hours and bad hours. Yesterday they went to tour the local Hospice facility. I think it really helped for them to see that there's help for them-the medical stuff that Unk and I can't provide. One of my closest friends, Lisa has worked at a local hospice for years and told me that contrary to what people believe, once Hospice is called in, studies have shown that patients live longer and with a better quality of life. Alright, enough of the sad stuff. Let's get to Judy's favorite coleslaw recipe. She likes fried shrimp every weekend with this slaw. 

Jacci's Healthy Coleslaw

• 1 bag of coleslaw mix (I use Fresh Express with the dressing in a little pouch in the bag)
• 2 dashes low sodium Worcestershire
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric (Google it. It's good for you)
• several turns of FRESH GROUND pepper. (It helps your body absorb the turmeric) 
• 2 little packets of Splenda Naturals or Truvia
• 1/2 of one of those little bags of sliced almonds you can find in your grocery's bake isle. Or a handful out of that big bag you buy at Sam's Club. 

Mix it all and put in the fridge for at least an hour or two to give the ingredients time to marry. Overnight works even better. This slaw is also delicious in grilled chicken wraps and on burgers.  

To any Pinterest users out there... I played with this until I got it exactly how she likes it. Don't try to get more creative and add things like celery seed or dill and then give it a low rating. You have no idea how rude it is for complete strangers to give a low Pinterest rating to someone's original recipe but to then go on to tell what they changed when they made it. It's a pet peeve of mine.  Don't be a Mean Girl. Rate the original and THEN tweak it to your heart's desire the next time. 

Happy Eating!

XOXO,

Jac

The Sweetest Words

Some would say that the sweetest words they ever hear are, "I love you." Last weekend, I heard words even sweeter to my ears right now. While chatting in the kitchen as I cooked, Judy said, "I love my life." I was simply awed that anyone who is dealing with all that she is could have such a positive attitude. With serious heart and lung issues, in multiple organ failure, she is the most positive person I've ever met. Her faith is strong and she often talks about how things always seem to work out for her, citing me as an example. It would've been so easy for us to have missed reconnecting at that particular moment in time. If they had forgotten how to spell my first name or if they hadn't realized that I had gone back to my maiden name after my divorce, they might not have found me on Facebook. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, you have to admit that the stars certainly aligned perfectly to bring an old friend back into their lives who has as much diabetes experience as I have and who also happens to work for a food service company with access to the perfect set of recipes as well as a knowledgeable group of chefs in and out of my office every day to help us begin our journey. Fate? Kismet? Divine Intervention? Luck? Everyone will have to decide for themselves. 

Food Prep

One of the first things I did after I committed to helping was to go to Amazon and find containers for food prep and portion control. For just over fifteen bucks I snagged a set of containers perfect for the job. (Long live Amazon Prime!) I fill as many of these as possible on the weekends and pop most in the freezer for the week. I mark them with freezer tape with what's inside, the day to eat it (we have to make sure she gets the same amount of vitamin K daily so the greens, in particular, must be measured, because of the Coumadin interaction) and any reheating instructions. 

On this particular weekend, I grilled chicken breasts with onions and mushrooms, There are also smashed, small red potatoes with a sprinkling of cheese, pepper and spring onions that she'll add a dab of sour cream to after reheating. The mustard greens were cooked with added sodium-free Chicken Herb-Ox and a small amount of coconut oil (@1TBL for the whole pot).
We're discovering which things reheat nicely and which don't. Almost all proteins need added broth (before freezing and more before reheating) to keep them from drying out. Fish is a definite NO. It just doesn't reheat well so shrimp and salmon are cooked and eaten on the weekends as soon as I cook them.

Kitchen Tips

1. Avoid cross-contamination. When you have a compromised immune system, the last thing you need is food poisoning. Use different cutting boards (color-coded works well) for meats and vegetables. There are even color-coded knives that serve the same purpose.

2. Wear a cutting glove. If you're a new or fairly inexperienced cook, it's a great little investment. If you're cooking for someone who's REALLY immunocompromised, also get some thin latex style gloves. They don't need your cooties.

3. A mandolin. If you cut a lot of small squash, zucchini, and cucumbers, you'll thank me for this. 

4. When grilling meats like chicken and hamburgers it's a good idea to use a grill pan to get the grill marks everyone likes but if you're freezing it, add some low sodium beef or chicken stock at the end to keep it from drying out. And remember, a squeeze of lemon or lime juice always brightens sauteed veggies. You can even cook it down to a glaze and coat your chicken with it. YUM!

5. If the food still just doesn't have enough flavor without the added salt, stand in the baking aisle at the grocery store and stare at the spice section for a while. There are many salt-free seasonings loaded with flavor these days. Our current favorites are Cavender's and Chef Paul's (salt-free) Magic Seasoning. We add a dash or two to almost everything. The Magic Seasoning has a little kick. 

So while I'm in the kitchen measuring, mixing and tallying carb counts and Vitamin K amounts into little compartments and storage bowls, Judy's testing her blood sugar, recording her weight twice a day and calculating insulin dosages and boluses, all between scheduling doctors' appointments and other appointments. There are also calls and visits from friends. These wear her out quickly but she hates to miss any of them. This weekend, our dinner table conversations while Unk was in the bedroom resting revolved around ways to keep him from getting seriously depressed or even suicidal if she goes first. There will be weekend day trips for ice cream one or two towns over and I'll have to show him the local spots I know here in my county. There's the Whirligig Park in Wilson, the little Mayberry type filling station outside of Sharpsburg and the sailboat someone brought home to set up on their property after they couldn't sail any longer, presumably because they loved that boat so. Or maybe they just got too old or sick to use it any longer. If you know the owner, don't tell me the reason. I don't think I want to know.

Growing Old

Whoever said that quote about how growing old isn't for the faint of heart sure knew what he was talking about. Facing serious health problems when your energy is lagging and your body is older, tired and wearing out certainly takes courage. The most any of us usually can hope for is to go peacefully in our sleep with no long-drawn-out illness, no suffering to endure. That's my wish for all of us. God Bless us all.

The Food Police

Any Type 1 diabetic can tell you that one thing they hate almost as much as the constant needles is the "Food Police." These are usually well-meaning friends and sometimes even complete strangers who think they know better than you. They're everywhere: at church, on Facebook, at school, shopping centers and especially at restaurants. Tired and cranky with a low blood sugar coming on, I snapped at my 8th-grade teacher at a church pancake supper once because she offered me sugar-free syrup. No matter how many times I tried to explain to her at previous suppers that I'd rather have the real stuff and that the sugar in the one tablespoon I was going to use was planned for in my carb count, she continued to insist that she knew more than I did- a diabetic of over 30 years. At 48 back then, I thought maybe I should be trusted to know what I was doing. It's maddening and a little exhausting. Well, now I've become that person. The dreaded Food Police times ten. I'm the Food Police on steroids. I weigh, I measure, I portion and I figure carbohydrate amounts.

Paying careful attention to everything we put in our bodies is what every new diabetic starts out doing; usually, the doctor sends the new diabetic to a nutritionist who teaches them about food servings and carb counting. After a while, they've done it enough that instead of counting up the carbs, they just know. People get into food habits. They eat basically the same foods from week to week. Instead of adding up all of the carbs in their favorite sandwich and the little bag of chips for instance, after a while they just have the carb count for that meal ingrained in their brain, "a grilled ham & cheese with chips. That's 7 units of insulin." In Judy's case, since she's having to find new dishes to try, we are having to be like a new diabetic starting this journey from scratch. We count everything.

I've been scrambling to find different recipes to try on Judy to see if she'll like them. She's been very good about trying pretty much anything I fix. There are ground rules of course. She hates arugula, for instance. Several weeks ago she said she could eat chicken every meal. A week later, she said she was sick of chicken. Thank goodness I predicted it and had other meals prepped for some variety. Recently, it was breakfast. In an attempt to mix it up, I decided to try out a frittata recipe and see how she liked it. 

My Frittata

• 4 eggs
• a handful of fresh baby spinach
• 1 zucchini
• 1 yellow squash
• chicken broth or 1 packet of Herb-Ox
• 2 tablespoons of minced shallot
• sliced mushrooms (to taste)
• 1/4 cup crumbled goat cheese
• 3 turns of fresh ground pepper (it helps us absorb the turmeric)
• 2 shakes of turmeric (it fights inflammation)
• 2 shakes of Cavendar's Seasoning (salt-free)

I sprayed my non-stick pan with a spritz of EVOO and sauteed the sliced vegetables with the Cavendar's, pepper and turmeric, adding the spinach near the end. About halfway through, I added a generous splash of chicken broth for them to finish cooking. When they were almost done and the broth had cooked out, I added the eggs and cheese. When they were well mixed together and just starting to firm up, I poured the mixture into a pie dish and put it in a 350-degree oven for about 15 minutes, being careful not to overcook it. It came out great and the whole thing was gone by the end of the day. She ate every bite and insisted that I add this one to the blog. It really was delicious and I didn't even miss the salt. I hope you enjoy.

Signed,

The Food Police